So, I've been doing a lot of thinking over the past couple weeks and well, I guess you could say a lot of analyzing and or over analyzing of my life to date. With this whole catastrophe in Haiti that has left so many innocent people in complete dissaray, it got me thinking about where I am in my life. I know that probably sounds impeccably selfish to be thinking about myself when so many people are suffering. I have and still do think about those poor souls in Haiti left to suffice and adapt to the catastrophic environment that has become apart of their everday. I wish so badly that there was so much more I could do for them, other than donating money through a website, but truth be told I can't. I'm no doctor or medical professional but if I was I'd probably be on the next plane if I had the chance, or at least I'd like to think I would be. But I'm not and I don't. All i can do now is hope that someday the hopes. dreams and lives of the Haitian people will be restored to a greater being, that they can and will rise above all this and not be defined by what has been doomed upon them. that they will find the courage and strength to build an environment that restores hope in the land and a will in the people to carry on in their everyday. I believe that this can happen and I believe that this will happen, someday. But for now, today, i am here analyzing my own life and where I stand. What crossed my mind when watching the coverage of the reports on Haiti and seeing the bodies laying motionless in the crumbled town was, would I be satisfied with where I am in my life to date, if something so tragic were to happen to me tomorrow? What would I miss the most and what would I cling to if I knew that my entire world was about to crumble before my eyes? I'll be twenty three in March, and currently I have been in school for about seventeen years of my life. woooooopeeee.... Now, don't get me wrong, I am so fortunate to be in school and I know that there are so many, too many, people out there in the world, girls especially, who are not afforded the privilege to education. So by no means am I bitter, it has been my choice to study in post secondary education, in hopes that someday I can become a teacher and afford children the opportunity to learn. However, being stuck behind books for the past five years really hasn't left me with much room to explore the world. I work during the summer months to be able to afford school and rent, so my entire post highschool time has been spent working and studying. While has been my choice and I know I will be thankful for it in the long run, I have watched so many people pack their bags to travel and explore the world and I admit that I am totally jealous and bitter. It has been a dream of mine since I was young to travel to all those places on a map that no one knows anything about. The places that when you put your finger on a globe to stop it from spinning, you never even knew that place existed until that moment. Places that don't get two minute advertisements on telivison and posters in store windows. I want to go to the places that can educate me in ways that I have never even thought imaginable - education that you can't get out of a textbook. So, while I was thinking about my life and if something like the eartquake in Haiti were to happen here tomorrow - that would be my one regret. That I never took the chance to just put my life on hold for a month and discover a world completely unknown to me. I have always said one day after school is done and out fo the way, I'll pack my bags and discover the world, one day. But what if that one day never came? What if the people in Haiti were thinking this very same thing when their entire life just stopped. Everything they had ever known came crashing down upon them and all their hopes and all their dreams for the future got smashed by crashing buildings and crumbling concrete. I know it isn't feasible for me to pack my bags and hop on a flight to LaLa land but I jus thtink that sometimes we are too seroius in what needs to be done and waht we have to do in order to do something else. I know I am making complete generalizations here so for that I am sorry. But we tend to live our lives on such a schedule and agenda that sometimes we can never truly stop and enjoy life and live in the now. We need to put the cell phones down, stop texting during dinner and coffee with a friend and just simply enjoy the moment. After I was sitting here analyzing my life and wondering if I would be happy with what I have accomplished to date and what regrets I would have if something so catastrophic were to happen to me tomorrow, I realized that if this whole catastrophe has taught me anything it's that we, I, need to stop analyzing and over analyzing everything in my life. I need to stop living on such an agenda of events and stop taking life so seriously. We need to have more fun once in a while and laugh with each other a hell of a lot more often because if everything were to be taken away from us tomorrow we would live with far to much regret if we didnt laugh at the small things in life. We need to stop living in the past and for the future and start living in the present. We need to take a moment out of our day to just, well, breathe and enjoy the company of the people around us. Because at the end of the day when all is said and done, it's not the cars or the shoes, or the clothes that you cling on to, it's the people in your life that surround you and fill you with joy and happiness. That make you laugh and smile when you're having a hard day and that no matter what never leave your side. Because life isn't about schedules or agendas or regrets, It's about people and love and laughter and happiness. It's about right now. It's about the moments that we share with people, even if they are just for a moment. So while i regret that I haven't travelled more and taken more chances, I know that if something so catastrophic were to happen to our environment tomorrow, I would be surrounded by people that I love and care about and that means more to me than anything else ever could.